미치도록 PIANO Ver. by JONG HOON

Unbearable

Can you please stop it..
Can you please keep your mouth shut ?
Stop doing that.. it made me so exasperated... as a bystander.
If you know that one day you're going to like it, can you please don't judge others or talk bad about that before this? 
it's so annoying.. because you talked very bad about it before..!
it's really fine if you didnt tell anything before... but it's just too good to be true..
now... you're just like..slapping yourself once you say something good about it. 
So..please stop talking about that..
I don't think you're qualified ... 
as a bystander... 
my opinion...
everyone can like it.. but you're lack of qualification.... 
and..I knew it long time ago... and I liked it since last year... 
so..please don't act like you are the only one..or ..the first one who know this.. 
stop doing things that will only shame yourself... 
I can't do anything to stop you though.... 

D-Day!!

Yes! D-Day!

Finally I'm graduated.. 

start from now on I'm not a secondary school student anymore..

I'm not going to wear school uniform anymore.. 

yes... my first little dream has come true.

There's always other way to think of... 

I'm going to leave my sweet home very soon...

Feeling not really good...after I think about that....

Do I really feeling enjoy right now?

Why I'm still feeling worry? 

What am I worry about? 

I'm so afraid of being alone, daddy mummy... 

When I think of the positive part...I feel exciting...

but when it comes to the negative part..I feel extremely sad...

one...is about my future and my dream...

another one..is about my deep feelings ...

I was like...

            who's going to take care of my dogs like I did?

     who's going to have a little fight with my parents if I'm not around? 

                 who's going to help them out when they needed? 

There's so many how..who...why...in my coming life...

I'm so negative...I admit.. 

so what should I do next? anyone can give me some suggestion ?

My blog... you're my only place that can let me scream... express my feelings ...

but...you've always got no answer for my question.. it's just too good to be true.. 

My feeling after watching MAMA

Me and my sister were so high! I shouted..I dance... I sang...
wow!
Congratulation my love Infinite and Exo! ♥
Album of the year EXO!♥ 
AND
Best Male Group Infinite!♥ 
even though Im so sad that SJ and FT are not even in ... =(
Yeol-i is so cute and handsome as usual... ♥♥
 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Super Junior just arrive Malaysia ...
Kinda worried... because I didn't know that will they straight away practice right now ? at this time? 
Donghae...Sungmin...and other members please rest well.. 
You all may so tired right now... Rest well please.. =( 
 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥
There's another heartbreaking news..
Kyungsoo got his left foot injured during the performance ...and it must be when he did the 360 spin ='( 
Im so heartbreaking after knowing this..Im so sorry Kyungsoo..
Please rest well ...can you? =(
why did you perform... that's so sad .. =( 
I'll pray for you... 
when I saw the photo of you... I felt so hurt.. 
I think I can imagine how hurt it is...And I know that feeling...
Poor boy.... ='( 
And Im so proud of you because you able to endure it till the end... ♥ 
Please be strong.. 
오빠...오빠 다칠 알고있을때 난 걱절해 죽겠어...ㅠㅠ 
건강해요 오빠...제발... ㅠㅠ
난 오빠가 곧 회복되기를 바랍니다.

 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

There's something that I wanted to share....about my feelings... 
Please...stop laughing at GD's hairstyle..
this is so bad and rude! stop doing all those combined photos to tease him! 
Either you like him or not... stop doing this! even though Im not his super fans..
But I seriously feel that's not really good...
I think you will definitely feel bad knowing people laughing at your hairstyle..
am I right? 

And about Crayon pop... Now only you guys know who are them ? 
This is okay because they're still new...
but then please... don't laugh at their style ..and the helmet.. 
they have their own icon in this mv ...and this is special.
their dance is so popular... 
I just wonder why there's someone started to laugh at them.. 
There's nothing funny..
I think it's cute and special...for me... 
at least they're not just dancing..and their style are so impressed .. 

These are only my own opinion... but I hope most of you can understand ... 
if that's you.... you won't feel good.....knowing there's someone laughing at you...your style and your hair! 
Right ? I think it's so true.. just think about that for a sec... 
how if others looking at you and laugh at your hairstyle or dressing .... ? 
Please respect others.... so others will respect you too... 
That's life.. ... 

Life as a candidates

6th of Nov, I've sit for the first paper of Spm...

till now... 6 down and 4 more to go...

time flies... No word can describe how fast is it.. 1 second..2 seconds....3 seconds...

Im graduated ... not a high school girl anymore.. not a secondary school girl anymore..

Gonna leave my school ... 

last 4 days ...wearing my school uniform...

the last 4 times... 

I dont think Im gonna miss it..

the only things I will miss about my secondary school life... are... 

the moment I used to sit in a bus alone...

the way I used to walk back from school... 

my window seat in the class, that's my wonderful lil' world in the school...

sunlight always breaks through the window..to my face...and I felt the heat, indeed.. but I refused to cover them by newspaper..always...because I love it..

whenever it's rainy day, I can feel the cooling breeze...the wind blow through my hair, and it got messy.. but it's okay..because I love it..

I'm gonna take a photo of my seat... I promise... 

but I don't know whether it will success or not... 

because now we're still sitting for exam...

some other student are still using our classroom.... 

夜

沉静的晚上。。。当家里所有人都在熟睡的当儿。。。
一个人坐在屏幕前写写心里话，听听歌，是最舒服不过的事。
宁静才能让我专注，无论是温习或是想其他事。
晚上的时候，心情特别沉重，我想这不只是我一人察觉得到。
可能也因此，有很多人都会在夜晚时才会有灵感写歌，作词，写作，写诗。。。
我特别习惯在晚上回想一些事情，也在晚上的时候特别的感触。。
在晚上回忆起伤心的事，心里比平常更沉重。。
时间过的很快很快，还有一个月我就高中毕业了。。
也将往人生的旅途往前踏一步了。。。
我没有想过那么快我将不再是中学生。。是时候离开父母的身边，学会在外头生活自己上学读书了。。
我将会住在阿姨的家，爸爸妈妈也一定会时常都来看我们。
身为家中最小的，。。担心的不比老大少。
连最小的也是时候要离开自己的身边了， 那种感觉。。。
应该更难受。
我常这么想的，他们毕业时不需担心太多因为家里还有小的。。。
但我一想到家里剩下他们两个， 没人跟他们顶顶嘴，吵肚子饿，说说废话，倾诉。。
我就很怕。
妈妈特别容易哭，那时大姐出国留学，爸跟二姐也陪她去了趟，哥和嫂都回来帮忙，
那时只有妈妈和我在房，我在考试期间，压力特别大，担心的特别多。。
那个时候我们已经要睡了，我看到妈妈在哭，她和大姐在手机传着话。。
我那是在想， 是因为没得送他们的机哭吗？还是因为不舍得？
我因为有考试弄得妈妈没得陪姐出国，因为他们的机在半夜，所以我们也没得送机。
我不知道是不是我的错，。。
我看到她这样我不知该做些什么，唯有静静，然后当作不知道，叫她一起睡觉了。
我觉得他们当时应该不会知道妈妈在哭，如果我不说，他们应该现在也不知道。
我亲眼看到的，特别难过。
我离开家搬到啊姨家的第一个晚上她也会那么伤心吗？
在手机里放着笑脸但心里很伤心？。。。我希望她不会。。。
我希望是因为姐出国，很久才能见面，不舍得，妈才这样。。。
我最怕就是他们会寂寞。。。每个晚上在面子书看我们有没有上传什么。。。
现在我看到他们常关注姐的面书有没有更新我就会觉得很难过。。就会想，以后他们也常会关注我的。。。我应该时常要更新。。。
我很担心，很不想那么快长大。。
很想每天依靠也他们。。
每天抱抱妈妈。。。每天有早午晚餐吃， 还能时常一起到外面吃晚餐，喝茶。
我知道他们有4位好朋友能常陪他们我就没那么害怕。。

我真的希望以后我的生活不会太忙， 不会像大姐那样，礼拜天还要教琴，没什么时间陪爸妈。 希望我很快就会驾车， 能时常和姐一起回家， 星期六日也能回家过夜，和爸妈出去吃饭喝茶。不希望他们每个星期下吉隆坡，这样太辛苦了，晚上驾车也很令我担心。
我要提醒我自己每天都要报告自己的行程，节目，或者诉诉苦， 常说说晚安。
我知道。。。我开学的前一天一定会很想哭。。。很想家。。。 

dream

Life is sucks before Spm..
I had read the previous post... I said 'Time flies and it's June right now.. '...
Today 26 August 2013... Tomorrow is the day to face Trial of  Spm.. 
Im sorry I couldn't take it serious... I havent read through all the chapters yet..And I didn't know how to face those tough subjects...Im so afraid of it...
Tomorrow is the first day ...The first paper is Moral...and right now Im still memorizing those Moral Values, their key words and definition .
Im quite worried about my results ...since I have no confident at all as I myself did not do any preparation for it.. did not put much effort on it. 
Im blaming mysef being so stupid and wasting time during holiday...
So I have promised myself.. after this Trial I will work hard and put all my effort on my studies till the day SPM on 6th of November...  there's no much time left.. 
3 weeks of Trial wasted my time... after that left only 50+ days to SPM.
I am so happy because finally I can say bye to my school say bye to my friends and say bye to my school uniform ... 
Since I don't want myself to feel regret... so I will really put my effort on it ..understand those Science subjects well and do it nicely ...only for SPM...  that's once in the lifetime... cherish it... 
Hope Gohonzon will bless me..and support me... 
Try my best in the Trial..and Do my very best in the real exam.
Stay strong. 

The hero in my heart

My hero is my life...that's my dad.
My dad makes me born to be a human in order to see this wonderful world.
He gave me everything I need without any trace of blame.
He sacrificed everything without any trace of regret. 
He is my source of inspiration. 
He is my hero not only because of who he is... but what he did.
He always look for the best... he did everything very well until no one knows what he can't.
 He gave me and everyone else the benefit of the doubt.  He not treated everyone with respect as he won't respect people who didn't respect him too...
Right from the time I was a child to today, his qualities of kindness, empathy, generosity and compassion have had a deep impact on my life. 
He protect me with love and care. 
I didn't know why my dad would know everything.. but when I couldn't understand some particular stuff, words, sentences, maths, physics... he can answer me very well..
He is my best teacher, my best coach , my best friend, my best artist ,my best tutor,  my best hero in my life!
Even though sometimes he did angry of me... scolded me... 
But I know... his love... was the starting point.   I know that he loves me

more than the other and he never hates me when he was angry.
I feel like I'm the luckiest human is the world because I have my dad! 
I am lucky to have him as my father. I love you! 

Today's thought

I'm afraid... day by day... time flies... time passing by everyone without let us knowing ...

It's June right now.... 19 of June...

2 months later gonna sit for trial exam... and soon SPM ...

I worried of my studies... and worried of my life.... and ...same to my parent's ...

Sometimes I did feel..happy because 6 months to go ... 

I can finally throw my uniform away...and finally I can say GoodBye to my secondary school....

How cruel... 

But.. on another hand... I am worrying about my life without my parents once I step into new stage of life..that is my college life in a booming city- KL. 

I can't imagine how am I going to live without them....

They are my everything... I can do nothing without them... 

I need mum's hug before I go to bed... I need dad's concerned , caring and guiding.. 

Everytime during my 'hard' time -sitting for exam... my daddy mummy would be very worried about me and stressed...

When I cried because I got no enough time to study , daddy would ask me to go to bed earlier... stop revising and it's doesn't matter if I score or not... mummy would lend me her shoulder and she would prepared drinks like honey...hot milk..hot milo for me when I was revising... I'm touched... 

One silent night..as I was revising.. I asked mummy to stay beside me when I was revising... 

She came into my room and accompanied me...she even slept with me that night... Im so shocked and touched ... I really don't want to disappoint them ...

Friends

True friends can and will improve our lives...
There's always lots of statements about friendship.. 
how important friend is...for a men.. 
There's a short explanation ... 
''We must be very aware that real friendship is vital throughout life. But you can quickly discover real and good friends when you are down or when you require their assistance the most. Why? Because a real friend will not desert you when you are down, and will not turn against you in jealousy, for example, when you succeed.''  A lot of people go through life with only a few friends. It seems that some have less than that. They have no one on whom they can call in good times or bad. There is no one with whom to bounce ideas around, or to talk about deep and troubling subjects. They have no one to call in times of need or difficulty. They are at the mercy of life, standing alone.'' 

Friends... I found that it was really easy to name others as a friend but some of them don't even know the meaning of a friend.

Today.... 
one of my friend.. even though he/she didn't do anything wrongly but I got to know from others... about him/her... 
He/she has totally different character ....
Speak different things and different opinions to different people...
All I know about him/her is not really clear ... we are not really good friends actually...
but then after I got to know what kind of person he/she is...I was quite a little bit disappointed and feel like doesn't wanna speak with him/her anymore.. don't wanna see his/her face too..

Beethoven's Diary

Now...I'm gonna share to you about my Beethoven's diary.
I'm gonna talk about him in this whole article. 

Q : When was Beethoven's birthday and how old is he now? 
28 August 2012 was his birthday. I brought him home on 1st of October- that was the another day after Mid Autumn Festival party at auntie Kim's house. He was 1 month old bundle of fur when I first met him... So.. now he is 9 months old. =)

Q : Firstly, when did I decided to adopt him?
hmm...it was.. about a week before Mid Autumn festival, I went to search for a pet for adoption in PetFinder as usual... I didn't know why suddenly I asked dad to adopt a puppy, just told him that I wished to have a puppy since it had been many months since Whiskey left us.
I found him , his actual name was Panda .. before I named him Beethoven. I showed him to daddy.. and daddy like him too... so I understood more about his info then started to note down the owner's contact number. Sister had contact the owner and she went to meet the owner then brought Beethoven back .

Q : Why did he called Beethoven?
uh huh! seriously ...after Beethoven had become one of the member of our family... for... 1 week? maybe..
He still haven't got a name yet! I think of that everyday...there're some names in my mind on that moment.. ''Emerald...Beetle...Dal-li (Means moon in Korean) .....or his actual name Panda....''  After that ... something remind me of the St.Bernard - Beethoven! I watched the movie before and the St. Bernard called Beethoven! so I decided to name him Beethoven x) actually I quite like the name Emerald.. ..haha! But Beethoven is cool ... =)  I wonder does Beethoven love music too? 

Q : What breed Beethoven is? 
He is actually a Border collie and mix breed mixed. His mother is Border collie whereas daddy is Mix breed.
He look exactly like a mix breed puppy.. x) His head was light brown and white in colour and his body is coated with black and white fur... it's a little bit weird match x)  his tail is white and eyes are blue .. (but only temporary) ... as he grow day by day.. the colour of his eyes changed! ....to brown ..I wonder why...still..wondering... how can the colour goes? 

Is time to share..

Long time didn't update my blog... It had been months since I last visited my blog...
My Mid-term examination finally come to the end.. left 1 paper..that's History paper1...
I didn't want to bother about it as I got no more mood to struggle...for it...=)

Tomorrow... me and my family gonna pay my brother a visit..and help him out to clean his house.. ? maybe...x) 
I gonna swim with my sister at his condo! hurrrraaaay!!
I think it's almost one year since I last swim.. TT
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

How are you recently?
Seriously... we had been ...1 year + didn't meet..  everything had come to the end... there's no more hope... 
Im so curious and I wonder... did you think about the past? 
Did you miss them? .... not even a little bit ? 
I did... ...a lot...
It's really hard to forget someone..
even though it's not about love...
But I did feel that... hurt ? maybe? 
just..I did feel that ....when you are really hoping to meet someone.... 
by the moment you knew that.. it won't be any chance for us to meet... anymore...
that feeling is..really... indescribable.... 
Our relationship is getting far and far day by day...since you had left... 
Our bond had disappear ...
I know that... in the future... 
if... I mean if...
one day we meet up by the street ....
you brush pass me by the walkway....
we won't know each other....
I believe that...
and It's really an extremely sad case... 

Chinese New Year 2013 -part1 - Lovely Friends

2013 first diary ....after a month

Yes.. I'm here again after 3 months...
It's 2013 now... time flies w/out asking ...
Why am I so free today? It's was Wednesday! TGIW~~~ ~~~ ~~~ 

Best memories in 2012...
                    ... transfer to new school.....
       ....Make new friends...
                              ...tuition everyday everywhere...
      ....started to know what is stress....
             ...rushing...
    ....grow...
                  ..happy school life....
  ....Best Friends....
                .   ..Friend's love story...
                                     ... Beethoven came into my life...
               ...New Dreams....
    ....Examination...
                      ....Korea.....
These are the only good memories... still long long long sentences to go for the bad memories...