Thanks for giving me strength

Just received a call from the agent who are helping me out on my further studies. 
After telling my parents , my daddy didn't seem happy.
He was worried about the transport problem and so on. Then, started to ''splash me with cold water'' ... (abit? )
Yes, I know it might be a big problem, since the institute that I wish to enter , is quite far from my aunt's house and every morning there'll be really heavy traffic, and yet, I haven't got a license ...
Yes, a ***king driving license (for me) .
After going back to my room, I just felt very disappointed and sad and angry. 
I thought, why I'm facing so much problems? Why when there's course that I like, many problems appeared? What should I do?? As you said, you wanted me to have no problem with the transport, should I find those university only in that particular area but not the course that I like?
I was so disappointed and couldn't control my anger. and even my tears.
I cried....and cried.... 
sending mummy lots of message, hoping that someone could comfort me and give me positive energy. 
about 15 mins later, she replied , she asked me to calm down, take a deep breath. 
After following what she asked me to do, I told her that I wish she could come into my room. 
Then, she came and I cried much more louder than before.
Cried until the sides of my eyes shivered, my hands shivered, my legs shivered. I hugged my mama as tide as possible because I was panic abit and couldn't breath as I cried too hard.
I had water, and calm myself down. 
Then we started to sit on the bed and discuss with the help of internet. 
She explained to me everything, she comforted me, she told me what to ask the agent, she taught me the options , she said we'll be going to visit those universities that I'm interested in , asked me not to worry .
I felt that Im feeling alive again after her words. 
She gave me strength to stay strong. 
Thanks , mummy. 
I don't know what I will be without you. 

Thanks.

Finally I came back home ...
and... ya.. officially.. I'm not a student in Korea anymore.
I still feeling sad when I start to think about it..........
but... this is what i've chosen... I shouldn't blame ..

Had a safe flight and everything went so smooth, Thank God. =)
I met my parents <3 and="" finally="" home="" i="" in="" m="" my="" nbsp="" p="" room...="" sweet="">(before that I was so worried..............)

I didn't know what should I do start from now on....
I know it's time for me to decide...
I don't wanna waste my time just staying at home before uni life starts, I wanna find somethings to do but what it will be? .... > <

D-day-2

Yesterday met my brother finally after 3 months no see.

He came here for his work , and will accompany back to MY this Saturday..

Time flies,... finally...I'm going back already..

It had been 6 months since I came to Seoul.

It was like a dream..seriously.. 

till now I can't believe these can happen to me.. 

I'm lucky.. and I appreciate them <3 nbsp="" p="">

It's kinda special feeling when we meet our brother,...

couldn't describe it by words...

Brought him to eat and shop! =D feel nice because we are the one who were bringing them to hang around Seoul. feel so cool > < 

Today me and my sister went to Insa-dong to have a walk on the beautiful street.

We took photo sticker with Hanbuk on , so nice =D 

We went to enjoy our Caramel Honey Bread at Ediya Coffee,

then we went to Dongdae-mun shopping town to get some pretty stuff.

After staying in Seoul for 6 months, we can just go to bus stop and check what's the direction the bus is going to ,then get in to the right one. Before that we coudn't do this but keep on finding the direction first before traveling or ask others for help. 

Feel so nice, it's like.. ' Finally, we're like a real student here but not half student half tourist anymore..' <3 p="">

I appreciated everything here in Seoul, I know I won't be able to come back again as a student again but a tourist in the future....=(

so sad... 

but........

I don't want to feel regret after this. 

I know it's a right choice.

Fighting!

I've my parents!

I called my parents by skype just now , just wanna tell them everything and I need someone who listen to me....

I cried automatically once I complaint about how tired I was during this whole day to my mum..

but after I cried and chat with her , I felt better... I'm not feeling tired anymore..

They're indeed my 'energize potion' (?) hahhahaha

Seriously, as what mum had told me... I really need to enjoy my life here ... D-Day-4.. 4 days later I'm going back...

I don't know what feeling it will be.... 

the country where I always dream to stay in... I'm going to say bye to my student life in Seoul...

I miss my family until I forgot how much I love Korea..

                                 and how can I imagine how much I gonna miss here..

I'm not going to have this student life here anymore.... the dorm...the class... 

   friends... the scenery...

the feel...

 the people here... the daily language....the food...

 the lifestyle.... the weather...the places

.the season.... 

the cafes... 

 more and more..............

.....................

........

.......ya.... 

I gonna miss them alot alot...... 

alot....

more than I can say....

About my favorite friend

Last Tuesday went to Everland with one of my favorite Japanese friend -Ayako. 

We had lots of fun and that will be our beautiful memories.

She is a kind ,humble,understanding and friendly person, I still remember on the first day we met each other, she was the one who started to talk to me first. (since I don't usually be the one who talk first because I'm timid!) 

She's not 90's (but who cares~ as long as we feel comfortable with each other, we can be good friends!) She looks younger than her age, seriously. She didn't act like wanting the whole class to respect her since she is the eldest among us, she doesn't really care bout ages , she is kind to each one of us. so I guess these're the reasons that everyone likes her, included me. 

She told me to get the first place in the class and believe me that I can do it. 

She supported me a lot and giving me lots of opinions. 

Seriously, after this, I don't know when are we going to meet again...

but she promised me that if she plan to go for a trip in my country, she will let me know and visit me. ( wishing the day can come faster) 

random selca

-没有想到想写的题目-

韩国生活第4个月， 这4个月里头当中有不少时候我是很想很想回家。
但是想了想， 才4个月， 我会不会逊了点。。。
已经准备这个学期完了就回去，是时候上大学。
有的时候很矛盾， 来到了自己很喜欢的国家生活， 学最喜欢的语文， 为什么还会有不开心的时候。。。
原因只有一个。想家。

刚才逛了逛哥哥的部落格，想再读读他当年在日本留学的心情和生活。
我觉得，有时候终于感受到他当时的心情。更何况那时候他是一个人。
一年回家一个月， 真的很不简单， 如果那是我， 我一定顶不顺。

来了外国读书，虽然短短的半年，令我整个人成熟了不少。（个人认为）
所以我觉得一定要至少有一次短时间离开父母，去感受身边没有亲人常常为你做这个那个。。。
这段期间里开心当然会有，但难熬的时候也不会少。。  

我在这里留学了以后做了很多从来不会跟父母做的事。。。
我每一天拍照给他们看，每天分享做过的特别事，互相问候。
难过时我会告诉他们，有压力时也会告诉他们。以前我从来都不会这么做。
我学到了，有想说的话就该说，
面对任何人都可以害羞，但是唯有父母面前最没有理由‘怕丑’。
没有人会知道自己的命运， 想说的，想做的， 不做，以后后悔都没有用。
生命有多宝贵？ 没有字能形容。

我现在的确很想家。
但是回去了以后我要做些什么，我还不知道。。。
大学也没那么早开学。。。
我不知道没有书读的时间怎么过。。

回家后再回来韩国的生活

终于，在假期时回家了。回来已有4 天，现在这么想想过得真快。
现在很想家。。。

记得五天前，一直想着明早要回韩国了，很不舍得，一直有想哭的感觉，一直在心里面倒数着，还有多少个小时又得离开爸妈的身边，想着想着，红着眼睛往没人的地方走去。。。

一直到了半夜，我们上房间睡觉，那个时候，还有4个小时就得去机场的我，心里不想睡，因为不想时间过得这么快。
我当时，真的不想回来读书了，很想和家人一起。。。
不知不觉，因为太累睡着了。。。3点电话闹钟响后，什么都没做就下楼去爸妈的房里。
睡在妈妈的旁边，她被我弄得醒了，问了问我几点了，他们都说那么快就3点了。。。
爸爸弄了弄我的脸，叫我快刷牙洗脸去，准备准备。
我很快地去了厕所，原因很简单，因为我哭了。
哭着哭着准备完后，还是得抹干，面对他们。
的士到了的时候，我还不感觉怎么样。。
全家人都出来，准备上车的时候，我还抱着妈妈，爸忙着说东西要拿好，做事要小心，那个时候眼睛不知觉的湿透了。。。
眼泪即将要掉的时候我很快地上了车，我以为我这样做他们全就看不到我哭。。
赶快擦干，望了望窗外，的士慢慢向前驾驶，我们望向后面挥了手。
我当时忍不住哽咽了一声再立刻塞着我的嘴巴，不让人家听见。
边哭，边想回去， 很想让的士回去。。。
姐发了信息问了我，二姐有没有哭， 那时候我才知道原来他们都懂我哭了。。。
确实是。。。  哪有可能我会不哭呢~ 
哭了好久。。。。 之后跟妈妈发短信时就没再哭了。
直到上了飞机， 无聊的时候又想起了他们。。眼泪再次不知觉要流下。。。
我真的是很伤心。。。3 个月后还是5 个月后再见他们呢？ 

回到韩国， 忙得没有时间难过。。。
现在为止还行，有朋友们在，时间快得很开心。。 
功课又多，上的课挺难。。。 有时间的话都应该温温书。
接下来的日子希望都是忙忙但又有意思 =） 
当然这次很希望能又得到奖学金，为了钱。。。。。。但是竞争者视乎挺多的，要加倍努力才行。。。加油！ 

Day-47

昨天買了回國的機票。
還有28天就能回家放假。。。
我最怕的就是坐飛機，當然會很擔心，但是我相信會沒事儿。
回去以後有好多事要做，一定不可以出問題。
往好的方面想。。。

Life in Korea Day-46

今天是在韩国生活的第46天，很快明天就会是星期五。

每一个星期都过得很快很快，上个星期刚考完试，和全级同学一起去了民俗村一日游，现在想起来就像两天前的事一样。

46天，离开父母的怀抱，与姐姐一起在一个陌生又收悉的国家生活。

感觉有一点长大了。。。之前以为我来了之后会经常哭，但我并没有。。。

这对我来说已经是奇迹了。

还记得，那一天晚上心情特别低落，睡不着，在阿姨家跟妈妈通电话，谈关于来韩国留学的事儿，那个时候我很想立刻就回家。。。已经不想出国了。。。因为我觉得自己太胆小，太依赖家人，太需要他们照顾。。。

现在， 我觉得自己生活其实没什么分别，依然会有他们的支持和关心的话。

反而我觉得因为不常通电话，只给发信息，所以一通电话的时候就会特别开心和期待。

每天见面的话就会比较容易吵起来。

我这么说并不代表我会在这里继续上大学， 我还是很想回去，回去那里过新的大学生活。

我总带着期待的心。期待我以后的大学生活。

来韩国了之后，认识了不少朋友，来至不同国家的朋友。

他们人好，也乐于助人。

一开始真的觉得自己很幸福，来到别的国家也认识了很多很情切的人，觉得我真的太幸运了。

能这样认识彼此是缘分，同一个时候，来之不同地方，选了同一个时间，同一个学校，很不简单，是有多少个巧合让我们认识到对方？

所以我一直觉得很奇妙，

非常感激父母和天给我的一切。

他们的照顾，关心，帮助，大方，令我觉得这个世界上好人很多。

但一起久了就会知道一个人真正的性格，虽然不是坏，对我还是很好，但是合不来的总会有，因为难免会有不同的喜好和习惯。

有些对我来说会是奇奇怪怪的性格。。。令我感到有点讨人厌的都有。。很想大声的训他们一顿。

没办法，只好跟合得来的朋友谈多些，常在一起不就好了吗。 其他朋友不是说不跟他们说话， 就不是每次约在一起就好。好让彼此活得舒服些。。。

以后，我真的能舍得离开这里吗？

我回国以后，可能不会再住进这宿舍，不会再来这学校，不会再和这里的老师朋友见面。。。每次看着照片，书本。。。

我真的受得了那么伤心的事实？

我会伤心多久？

我现在真的不敢想象。

但是多么伤心都好， 我知道我不会后悔， 至少在这里生活，让我学到了很多在我国学不到的，经验丰富了，让我有更多回忆，更在我生命里添了不少色彩。

Life in Seoul

I'm Seoul... I'm in Seoul ...
I can't believe that I'm a student here.. in Korea..
That was my dream.. a big dream.
My dream had come true...
I really appreciated =')

I met nice people here , I enjoyed all the time being with them.
The teachers, the stuff, foreign friends, Korean friends...
They're too nice and taking care of us so well .
I appreciated it =')

Not dare to think about leaving here.. feel so down ...

I really hope we can meet nice people here and make many global friends...
share experience and culture with each other .
I hope to see them in my country in the future , I'm very glad to be their tour guide ^^
I appreciated what they had did to me.

Travel with my parents before school starts

Went to MyeongDong on the first day.

  GwangHwaMun

 GwangJangSiJang

 DaeHak-Ro

 Ihwa-MaUl

 Naksan GongWon

Everything become so meaningless..

I can't describe this is early morning ...
I finished prepared and walked out from my room ...
I just on my laptop and planned to sit there for a whole day ...
It's just the second question I've ask in the morning ...
You said I'm so noisy asking all the silly questions...
I was totally shocked listening to those words coming from your mouth....
It's just my second question of the day! ...can't...can't... you just answered me and keep quiet?

Ahh, this is how you think about me all the day...all the time... ? 
You've bear it for so long until you couldn't bear anymore? 
One word... Fine.. 
I'm totally fed up with those words describing me...
Im so tired to know how you think about me all the time.. 
I didn't wanna know that anymore..
That will only make me feel annoying...
Why can't we just sit down and chat like what normal people did? 
I just hope to be like that... 
Please don't give any comment about my personality.. 
If not.. it's gonna be like what we did in the morning...forever... 
We'll end up not chatting with each other... or even not sitting with each other....
I wonder... did you really want this to happen ? 

It's February... I'm gonna leave here on March...
Why not you just bear ... and control what you wanna say? 
I'm tired of arguing ....always...
I didnt want this to happen but you always started it... 
Should I leave here happily and not even miss you guys? 
Did you wanted me to leave quickly? 
Is this what you wanted from me? 
You wanted me end up to be like that? 

During the 2 weeks to 3 weeks time in aunt's house..
Almost every night.. I think about it... 
What will happen after I leave here...?
What will you feel?
What will you do after this? 
Who's the one you can argue with ?... 
Who's the one who accompany you to do medical check up as our business still need someone to take care of..? 
Who's the one will walk beside you when you walk the dogs? 
Who will be the one who accompany you to eat supper when you feel hungry? 
...How if I started to miss home? ... 
Almost every night ..I fell asleep with tears after thinking all of these... 
I hope you'll not know this forever... 
that's what I always worry about..
I wonder did you think about that before? ...or not even once? .... 
                ............
                          ..............   ....
                                       .............................

이 노래

보이지 않는 널 찾으려고 애쓰다
들리지 않는 널 들으려 애쓰다

보이지 않던 게 보이고
들리지 않던 게 들려
너 나를 떠난 뒤로
내겐 없던 힘이 생겼어늘

나밖에 몰랐었던 이기적인 내가 yeah
네 맘도 몰라줬던 무심한 내가
이렇게도 달라졌다는 게
나조차 믿기지 않아
네 사랑은 이렇게 계속 날 움직여

난 생각만 하면
세상을 너로 채울 수 있어 음~
눈송이 하나가
네 눈물 한 방울이니까

단 한 가지 못하는 것은
널 내게로 오게 하는 일
이 초라한 초능력
이젠 없었으면 좋겠어 우~

늘 나밖에 몰랐었던 이기적인 내가
네 맘도 몰라줬던 무심한 내가
이렇게도 달라졌다는 게
나조차 믿기지 않아
네 사랑은 이렇게 계속 날 움직여

시간을 멈춰 네게 돌아가
추억의 책은 너의 페이지를 열어
난 그 안에 있어 오~

너와 함께 있는 걸

아주 조그맣고 약한 사람이 너의 사랑이
이렇게 모든 걸 (내 삶을 모두)
바꾼 걸 (세상을 모두)

오~ 사랑이 고마운 줄 몰랐었던 내가 오~
끝나면 그만인 줄 알았던 내가 오~
너 원했던 그 모습 그대로
날마다 나를 고쳐 가
내 사랑은 끝없이 계속될 것 같아

시간을 멈춰 (오! 이제 나)
네게 돌아가 (네게 돌아가)
추억의 책은 (오! 오늘도)
너의 페이지를 열어
난 그 안에 있어 오~

그 겨울에 와있는걸

보이지 않는 널 찾으려고 애쓰다
들리지 않는 널 들으려 애쓰다