Everything become so meaningless..

I can't describe this is early morning ...
I finished prepared and walked out from my room ...
I just on my laptop and planned to sit there for a whole day ...
It's just the second question I've ask in the morning ...
You said I'm so noisy asking all the silly questions...
I was totally shocked listening to those words coming from your mouth....
It's just my second question of the day! ...can't...can't... you just answered me and keep quiet?

Ahh, this is how you think about me all the day...all the time... ? 
You've bear it for so long until you couldn't bear anymore? 
One word... Fine.. 
I'm totally fed up with those words describing me...
Im so tired to know how you think about me all the time.. 
I didn't wanna know that anymore..
That will only make me feel annoying...
Why can't we just sit down and chat like what normal people did? 
I just hope to be like that... 
Please don't give any comment about my personality.. 
If not.. it's gonna be like what we did in the morning...forever... 
We'll end up not chatting with each other... or even not sitting with each other....
I wonder... did you really want this to happen ? 

It's February... I'm gonna leave here on March...
Why not you just bear ... and control what you wanna say? 
I'm tired of arguing ....always...
I didnt want this to happen but you always started it... 
Should I leave here happily and not even miss you guys? 
Did you wanted me to leave quickly? 
Is this what you wanted from me? 
You wanted me end up to be like that? 

During the 2 weeks to 3 weeks time in aunt's house..
Almost every night.. I think about it... 
What will happen after I leave here...?
What will you feel?
What will you do after this? 
Who's the one you can argue with ?... 
Who's the one who accompany you to do medical check up as our business still need someone to take care of..? 
Who's the one will walk beside you when you walk the dogs? 
Who will be the one who accompany you to eat supper when you feel hungry? 
...How if I started to miss home? ... 
Almost every night ..I fell asleep with tears after thinking all of these... 
I hope you'll not know this forever... 
that's what I always worry about..
I wonder did you think about that before? ...or not even once? .... 
                ............
                          ..............   ....
                                       .............................

이 노래

보이지 않는 널 찾으려고 애쓰다
들리지 않는 널 들으려 애쓰다

보이지 않던 게 보이고
들리지 않던 게 들려
너 나를 떠난 뒤로
내겐 없던 힘이 생겼어늘

나밖에 몰랐었던 이기적인 내가 yeah
네 맘도 몰라줬던 무심한 내가
이렇게도 달라졌다는 게
나조차 믿기지 않아
네 사랑은 이렇게 계속 날 움직여

난 생각만 하면
세상을 너로 채울 수 있어 음~
눈송이 하나가
네 눈물 한 방울이니까

단 한 가지 못하는 것은
널 내게로 오게 하는 일
이 초라한 초능력
이젠 없었으면 좋겠어 우~

늘 나밖에 몰랐었던 이기적인 내가
네 맘도 몰라줬던 무심한 내가
이렇게도 달라졌다는 게
나조차 믿기지 않아
네 사랑은 이렇게 계속 날 움직여

시간을 멈춰 네게 돌아가
추억의 책은 너의 페이지를 열어
난 그 안에 있어 오~

너와 함께 있는 걸

아주 조그맣고 약한 사람이 너의 사랑이
이렇게 모든 걸 (내 삶을 모두)
바꾼 걸 (세상을 모두)

오~ 사랑이 고마운 줄 몰랐었던 내가 오~
끝나면 그만인 줄 알았던 내가 오~
너 원했던 그 모습 그대로
날마다 나를 고쳐 가
내 사랑은 끝없이 계속될 것 같아

시간을 멈춰 (오! 이제 나)
네게 돌아가 (네게 돌아가)
추억의 책은 (오! 오늘도)
너의 페이지를 열어
난 그 안에 있어 오~

그 겨울에 와있는걸

보이지 않는 널 찾으려고 애쓰다
들리지 않는 널 들으려 애쓰다

미치도록 PIANO Ver. by JONG HOON

Unbearable

Can you please stop it..
Can you please keep your mouth shut ?
Stop doing that.. it made me so exasperated... as a bystander.
If you know that one day you're going to like it, can you please don't judge others or talk bad about that before this? 
it's so annoying.. because you talked very bad about it before..!
it's really fine if you didnt tell anything before... but it's just too good to be true..
now... you're just like..slapping yourself once you say something good about it. 
So..please stop talking about that..
I don't think you're qualified ... 
as a bystander... 
my opinion...
everyone can like it.. but you're lack of qualification.... 
and..I knew it long time ago... and I liked it since last year... 
so..please don't act like you are the only one..or ..the first one who know this.. 
stop doing things that will only shame yourself... 
I can't do anything to stop you though.... 

D-Day!!

Yes! D-Day!

Finally I'm graduated.. 

start from now on I'm not a secondary school student anymore..

I'm not going to wear school uniform anymore.. 

yes... my first little dream has come true.

There's always other way to think of... 

I'm going to leave my sweet home very soon...

Feeling not really good...after I think about that....

Do I really feeling enjoy right now?

Why I'm still feeling worry? 

What am I worry about? 

I'm so afraid of being alone, daddy mummy... 

When I think of the positive part...I feel exciting...

but when it comes to the negative part..I feel extremely sad...

one...is about my future and my dream...

another one..is about my deep feelings ...

I was like...

            who's going to take care of my dogs like I did?

     who's going to have a little fight with my parents if I'm not around? 

                 who's going to help them out when they needed? 

There's so many how..who...why...in my coming life...

I'm so negative...I admit.. 

so what should I do next? anyone can give me some suggestion ?

My blog... you're my only place that can let me scream... express my feelings ...

but...you've always got no answer for my question.. it's just too good to be true.. 

My feeling after watching MAMA

Me and my sister were so high! I shouted..I dance... I sang...
wow!
Congratulation my love Infinite and Exo! ♥
Album of the year EXO!♥ 
AND
Best Male Group Infinite!♥ 
even though Im so sad that SJ and FT are not even in ... =(
Yeol-i is so cute and handsome as usual... ♥♥
 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Super Junior just arrive Malaysia ...
Kinda worried... because I didn't know that will they straight away practice right now ? at this time? 
Donghae...Sungmin...and other members please rest well.. 
You all may so tired right now... Rest well please.. =( 
 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥
There's another heartbreaking news..
Kyungsoo got his left foot injured during the performance ...and it must be when he did the 360 spin ='( 
Im so heartbreaking after knowing this..Im so sorry Kyungsoo..
Please rest well ...can you? =(
why did you perform... that's so sad .. =( 
I'll pray for you... 
when I saw the photo of you... I felt so hurt.. 
I think I can imagine how hurt it is...And I know that feeling...
Poor boy.... ='( 
And Im so proud of you because you able to endure it till the end... ♥ 
Please be strong.. 
오빠...오빠 다칠 알고있을때 난 걱절해 죽겠어...ㅠㅠ 
건강해요 오빠...제발... ㅠㅠ
난 오빠가 곧 회복되기를 바랍니다.

 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

There's something that I wanted to share....about my feelings... 
Please...stop laughing at GD's hairstyle..
this is so bad and rude! stop doing all those combined photos to tease him! 
Either you like him or not... stop doing this! even though Im not his super fans..
But I seriously feel that's not really good...
I think you will definitely feel bad knowing people laughing at your hairstyle..
am I right? 

And about Crayon pop... Now only you guys know who are them ? 
This is okay because they're still new...
but then please... don't laugh at their style ..and the helmet.. 
they have their own icon in this mv ...and this is special.
their dance is so popular... 
I just wonder why there's someone started to laugh at them.. 
There's nothing funny..
I think it's cute and special...for me... 
at least they're not just dancing..and their style are so impressed .. 

These are only my own opinion... but I hope most of you can understand ... 
if that's you.... you won't feel good.....knowing there's someone laughing at you...your style and your hair! 
Right ? I think it's so true.. just think about that for a sec... 
how if others looking at you and laugh at your hairstyle or dressing .... ? 
Please respect others.... so others will respect you too... 
That's life.. ... 

Life as a candidates

6th of Nov, I've sit for the first paper of Spm...

till now... 6 down and 4 more to go...

time flies... No word can describe how fast is it.. 1 second..2 seconds....3 seconds...

Im graduated ... not a high school girl anymore.. not a secondary school girl anymore..

Gonna leave my school ... 

last 4 days ...wearing my school uniform...

the last 4 times... 

I dont think Im gonna miss it..

the only things I will miss about my secondary school life... are... 

the moment I used to sit in a bus alone...

the way I used to walk back from school... 

my window seat in the class, that's my wonderful lil' world in the school...

sunlight always breaks through the window..to my face...and I felt the heat, indeed.. but I refused to cover them by newspaper..always...because I love it..

whenever it's rainy day, I can feel the cooling breeze...the wind blow through my hair, and it got messy.. but it's okay..because I love it..

I'm gonna take a photo of my seat... I promise... 

but I don't know whether it will success or not... 

because now we're still sitting for exam...

some other student are still using our classroom....