Never thought of I'd have a day like this

Thank you for all you've done for me on my birthday.  🌸
It's the first time that someone brought me out to celebrate my birthday.
You baked me my favorite oreo cheese cake, you drove me to sky dining to watch night view, you surprised me by showing up infront of my condo and wished me Happy birthday...
I never thought of I'd have someone who would do these to me...it's too dramatic for me and I thought girl like me would never have a chance to experience these. Thanks for making it happened.🌸
To be honest, I felt so bad for not dressing well, as you expected the birthday girl would have wear a dress or at least heels. I admit that I have no sense for these. I honestly thought that we would just have a simple dinner together and that's it. Because I'll never expect more.
It's my coolest birthday ever cuz no one had done this to me before, I can say.
You don't need to feel sorry for ruining my day ,you actually did made my day a lot brighter. 
We had a nice talk that day. Surprisingly, I never know that you actually know my existence before we met. Even though I still wondering whether it's truth or not... but I'd like to say, I appreciate that.
You opened up to me , told me what's your concern and worries..
And I found out that we're actually worrying bout the same things.
Maybe what you said was right, we met at the wrong time.
We both don't know where are we going to be in the next few months...
Anyhow, you're still gonna leave 2 months later.
Sometimes, we can't just make decision following our hearts when our mind disagrees.
I understood how hopeless it can be.
One has analytical thought involved and one has intuitive feelings involved.
Logic or Emotional response ?
I guess by the time, you'll follow your mind.
Because when emotions take over on decision making, it's not wise anymore..
I know you had consider a long-term vision by putting aside your feelings and thought wisely, otherwise you wouldn't come out with these thinking.
Maybe... we should just follow the flow, follow the path where God leads us to... and see what's going to happen after this.

Day- 35



🌸

Into it?

Am I falling into a trap?
I wonder what kind of person you're. Are you being serious? I don't like playing games.
I know it's bad to compare, everyone shows their love differently , but you don't make me feel that you're a caring person tho. Even the basic...
Are you also a passer-by in my life? I should stop here before stepping in too deep. How I wish you're being serious.
넌 어떤 사람이냐 진심이냐 착한사람이냐 너무 알고 싶다. 나를 왜 관심이 있느냐 물어보고싶다. 난 노는 사람은 아니다는게 말해 주고 싶다. 다른 사람의 감정은 놀지 않기 바란다.
잘 이해할 수 없는 게 있다. 관심이 있는 사람한테 왜 답장을 안 하는 건데, 왜 나만 관심이 있게  하니 ? 왜 나를 바보 같이 답장 만 기다리는 사람으로 만들었니 ? 내 친한 친구 도 내 생활은 얼마나 바쁘고 얼마나 힘든 것은 알고 늘 이해해주고 응원해 주고 나를 잘 해주는데 왜 니가 차가운 건데? 이런 행동은 관심이 있는 사람한테 할 행동이니? 어머.. 만약에 사귄 후에 너도 그렇게 차가우면 난 어쩔래 ? 걱정한다 정말로.

I wonder why it became my business...

Since when I'm that great, can sacrifice a friend because of a close friend...even when this close friend  had forgive that friend?
Im those kind of person, I don't take back words I've told.
In fact that I've made my decision, that's it.
Taken back what one has told is such an irresponsible action, for me.
You should be responsible for your words, what you've told and what you've decided.
Don't simply change your mind as if it has nothing happened.
You have changed someone's emotion, you've changed their mind, you've change their perspective on you, don't take things so easily. Don't be so childish, be responsible for what you've told , don't make me be like a childish person right now, who suddenly stop talking with a friend of mine, and Im who had suddenly lost a friend but seems like you lost nothing.
Everything started from you, you were the one who felt upset and had make your mind that you were gonna leave this shit behind. So, being a friend , I supported you no matter what decision you've made. Who knows, after a while, you acted like nothing happened but I'm still taking responsible for what I've told, which is about I will stay away from that person ,like you do.
But you did not.

마음

2016 년은 아직도 큰일 없고.. 너무 마음 아픈 일이 없는 것 같다.

지금은 문제 있긴 있다.

난 배신자 되기 싫다, 제발.. 배신하면 안된다.

나도 아는데... 가끔은 그냥... 마음 대로 하면.... 그렇게 됐으니.... ㅠㅠ 나도 어렵다. 솔직히 말하면 나도 하기 싫은데 만약에 내 마음속에도 그렇게 하고 싶다면은....나도 선택할 수 있으면은 그렇게 안 할 거야.

난 참을 거야. 너를 위해서 참을 거라고.  노력할게